Head & neck surgery - the buildup
Two years ago today, I went into surgery, marking the start of my treatment plan for head & neck cancer.
As with last year, this week has been full of memories of the buildup to that surgery.
Travelling to Mum's house the night after my diagnosis to tell her I had cancer, and I wasn't certain to what extent.
Calling my Dad on his mobile phone while he was on holiday in England, telling him that I was going to have a major surgery in a few days time, which he probably wouldn't be able to get back to New Zealand in time for.
Gathering my friends to tell them I was going to have an 8-hour surgery, followed by a few days in intensive care, and that I may not be able to speak, afterwards.
I also remember very clearly the way I looked at my situation (and I still look at it this way). I thought it was the ultimate opportunity to be my best self. I remember thinking it was an enormous privilege to be able to talk to the people I loved, before heading into all of the difficulty & uncertainty ahead. I thought, how many car crash victims have that opportunity?
I wanted to show everybody that I truly felt good - I felt confident, positive. I didn't want them to be fearful, or upset - I wanted them to be happy! Looking back, that was a difficult sentiment to ask for. But they did well.
I checked into Hutt Hospital on Sunday 21st. It felt good to be through all the pre-op scans and tests and discussions and consents that had filled the three days prior. I was tired, but felt well supported, and happy to have made it to the gate.
We spent some time talking in the patients' ward that night, and I was marked up on my head, neck and arm for where the surgery would be.
Marcus, one of my surgeons, had been irritated by the number of bungled blood tests that week that punctured the skin on my arm (I had dozens of blood tests pre-op). My arm was his specialist area for the forthcoming surgery. Earlier in the week he had scrawled on my arm in indelible marker: "No Needles!!". Which I think is the surgeon's equivalent of: "Please Keep off the Grass" (or maybe: "Beware of the Dog!!" - Marcus was pretty annoyed).